I don't think I have ever had this much motivation for a New Year's Resolution. Or just some action to be taken. Drastically.
Looking at the New Years eve photos trickling onto Facebook late last night and hastily untagging as many as I could before anyone saw was the kick up the arse I needed.
I. Looked. Fat. Really horrible. And it really was the wake up call I needed. I have always been small, I'm 5"1 and not going any further upwards, but I have always, luckily, been fairly slim with it. I was even quite well proportioned for most of my life. That was until I was 15, and my boobs suddenly made an appearance, in a big way. But it was still good. By the age of 17 I had stopped growing, upwards and outwards and was feeling comfortable in my own skin.
There were obviously bits of my body I was unhappy with. I don't think any girl can look herself in the mirror, and fully honestly say that she is happy with every inch of her body. But I was confident, I felt sexy, I had reason too. I was in good shape, with good hips and great tits. Feeling good about yourself can really affect how you live your life. It makes you more outgoing, and genuinely happier with your life.
I started to notice a little extra weight gain in around November. I had just started University and things were taking their toll. I was eating a balanced diet, I was doing exercise, probably even more than before, but there was one variable I had not accounted for. Drinking.
Although I knew alcohol was fattening, I did not realise how many empty calories I was pouring down my throat. As a fresher I go out a fair amount, and it is really starting to take its toll.
Add to that the two weeks of pretty continuous eating that has taken place over Christmas, and it is safe to say, I was feeling a little heftier than usual. But I had no idea how obvious that was looking. With my New Years Eve dress missing I the post, I opted for one of my older, tighter, dresses. This was another mistake. Every bulge is on display, and there are far too many of those for my liking.
Now, I am off to Morocco in February, and I cannot go through the same body-crisis I have been going through the past few days. I WANT MY CONFIDENCE BACK!!
I know it is a cliché, but it is a new start, and I really can't fuck this one up!
